There is a hard lesson we all learn, either one way or another. It is a tale as old as time, and it goes like this: People always leave. Sad, but true. Your mother, father, siblings, that girl you thought was your best friend, that guy you were madly in love with… They always leave. But sometimes, just sometimes, they come back. Here’s how to know who to take back and who to leave behind.
While reading, listen to: “bags” – Clairo
As a child, my biggest fear was frogs. I shrieked in fear at the thought of a frog jumping on me. That was truly the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Until that day that my father called me with a shaky voice. Just like that, one warm Thursday morning, I woke up to the news of my grandmother’s death, and I was forever changed.
People Leave For All Kinds of Reasons
Death is a scary notion, but it is the inevitable truth of life. We know about death, we hear about death, but we don’t understand the everlasting effects of death until we lose a loved one. The day that my grandmother died, I learned something: people leave. Not all of them die, of course. Sometimes they break up with you. Sometimes they cut ties. Sometimes they unfollow you on Instagram out of the blue. And sometimes, well… they die. People always leave. And we’re left to deal with the aftermath. We get over the ex, we forget about that old friend, and we grieve the dead.
But sometimes, those who left when it was convenient to them, come back when it is once again convenient to them. They text you a simple “hi, how are things?”, they give you a small nod in the hallway on their way to class, they add you back on Instagram. What do we do then?
Sometimes They Come Back When It’s Too Late
I believe that behind every single human action, there is intention. There’s no “accidentally” forgetting to invite you to their birthday. That group of friends hanging out without you and saying they thought you were “busy”… Yeah, they knew exactly what they were doing. They knew that would hurt you, and they did it anyway. If you stop being the first to text, to call, to invite people to hang out… you’ll see that some of your relationships will just fizzle out and die, slowly and painfully.
Sometimes They Come Back Just In Time
Death is permanent. When someone dies, we lose all chances of making peace. But the living remain redeemable. Stephen King wrote: “Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away.. and in the end.. there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again.”
It’s true that time takes it all. Time takes away the people, the love, the hurt, all of it. Sometimes, those who dissapeared find their way back to you in the dark.
“Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away.. and in the end.. there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometime we lose them there again.”
Stephen King
For those who don’t know, the featured image at the top of this blog article is from my favorite 2000s TV show called One Tree Hill. Peyton, one of the main female characters (who is the fictional artist of this drawing), has a quote I love: “This year, I wished for love. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic… then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn’t give it back for the world.” Loss may be a tragedy. It can hurt like hell. But love is magnificent, dazzling, and breathtaking while it lasts. And it’s worth the pain that comes with loss.
In the end, all that matters is if people come back with the intention to stay. Because closing yourself off just to avoid heartbreak is such a waste. If you stay open, yes, you might get hurt. But it might also end up working out. I believe the risk is worth taking.
With love,
Lara